Dylan Michaels
= Early Life Dylan Michaels was born on December 13th, 1998 in San Diego, California. At the age of 9 Dylan Michaels invented rap. He sat down at a table and began banging on a set of bongo drums. He said "Hey, this sounds lit," and thus began the form of music that many others would steal from this poor little kid. It was this that kickstarted Mr. Michaels's career in the music industry. One day, he showed up at Jay Z's doorstep and knocked five times. He emerged from his home and Dylan said to him, "Listen up, bitch. You're going to sign me up and I'm going to suck your dick!". The prodigy was only 13 years old at this time. Needless to say, Dylan Michaels lost his virginity at this age from Jay Z's 'lil business man, if you know what I mean. Afterwards, Mr. Michaels took it to Twitter to come out as being a homosexual, which boosted his record sales tenfold, even though he had no records at the time. This was only the start of his prosperous and longevity in the rap game. Beginnings By the age of 15, Dylan had recorded his first hit single, "Epic Rap Battles of History: John Shedletsky vs. The Pope", which had gained a total of 13 views on Youtube. At the age of 17, Dylan had put out his next huge success, simply known by many as the "Dimentio Rap". It started out with quite possibly the most genius lyric in the history of rap: "Master of Dimensions Pleaser of Crowds I am Dimentio! Ready to seize the rap crown!" Since the release of this single, people have been literally bowing at his feet in his almighty presence. Some say he even had Eminem call him up, asking for a ghostwriter. Success In 2008, Dylan Michaels once came across a small black boy in the street. He was sitting on the sidewalk alone, sighing. Michaels asked the boy "What's the matter?" "I want to become a rapper," the small child replied. "Well, what's the problem with that?" Dylan asked. "I can't do it, there are too many people in the game." Dylan put a hand on the kid's shoulder. He suddenly pulled out a dollar from his wallet and threw it in his general direction. "Eat up child, things will look up for you one day." That boy later grew up to be Mr. West. Not Kanye West. He grew up to be Adam West, famous actor and voice actor of Catman. He then later gave birth to Kanye West and passed on this amazing lesson to him. He then went on to be married by Matt "24" Tush. Matt was featured in Dylan's song "U Have A 2 Incher". Other big hits by Dylan was Van Dealer, 'which was about how he bought a van off of craigslist. The seller '''Tyrese Michelles '''was featured in this song as a thanks for selling the van. Matt Tush is now pregnant with a girl. They plan to name it Tushle Dyl Jr. 'Discography Mozart: Complete Works (1767) Abbey Road (1969) The Chronic (1992) Illmatic (1994) All Eyez On Mah Dick (1996) Reasonable Doubt (1997) The Dylan Michaels LP (2000) Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2003) The College Dropout (2004) High School Musical Complete Soundtrack (2006) My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010) Good Kid, M.A.A.D City (2012) To Pimp a Butterfly (2015) DARN. (2017) Social Media Dylan Michaels does not keep up with whatever peasants want to follow him on. UPDATE: There seems to be a rumor that Dylan has his own ROBLOX account. People say it starts with red, but we do not know. Some people have thought about Dankosaur being the account, or even Memosaur. We will keep you updated. Music Videos Appearance Dylan Michaels appears in the Ready Player One movie during the final battle in Oasis. Dylan Micheals also appears in The Spongebob Movie when Spongebob and Patrick ride him in the ocean. Girls say that he was really sexy when he shot them back to Bikini Bottom with his pecks. This article was made by Griffguy26 (the best mod of the Ready Player One wiki.)Category:Rappers Category:Rap Music Category:West Coast Rappers Category:Underground rappers